Last week at my church small group we were discussing how to rely on God when things are difficult. We agreed that it is so hard to trust God when we face trials in life. It's hard not to worry, fear, or take the situation completely into our own hands. When we face trials, we usually get anxious instead of saying, "Ok God, I don't understand this situation and I don't know what to do, but I look to you."
Side note: I love what king Jehoshaphat said in 2 Chronicles 20:12:
"...For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."
Some of the women in the group said that reciting scripture helps them, especially when they are afraid. There are some great verses, like in Psalm 23:
"I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me."
This one women, who is in her late 70s, is a great woman of God. She knows many of the stories in the bible by heart. As we were sharing she said, "I wish I had memorized more scripture when I was younger. Now it's not so easy. My memory isn't as good as it used to be."
That just hit me. She has memorized bus loads of verses, and yet she regrets not memorizing more of the bible. How often do I take my memory for granted? I think it's normal that I am able to memorize bible verses, engineering formulas, telephone numbers even. We never know when we could lose something like our memory.
We memorize song lyrics, addresses, websites, sports stats... but how often do we really use this great gift of memory to remember something truly important? that will aid us for our entire lives? that will remind us of God's goodness, faithfulness, and his awesome plans for us?
It's great to be young and to be able to memorize things easily. I think I'm going to put my memory to good use while I have it.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Love: we talk about it, we write songs about it, we even dance.
I didn't start this blog to bash relationships or promote singleness as superior to marriage.
In fact, I know that relationships are a good thing. I really love love. I enjoy the fact that God created love. He was the one who showed love first, before any human knew what it was. I'm thankful that he loved us more than any guy will ever love me. He loved me enough to die for me.
God created the concept of marriage. He created love; he invented sex. Have you ever felt your heart pounding because you're close to that special person? God created that. That's incredible! Do you ever think God is boring? Not if you remember that he created sex. That's not boring. There are a lot of other not-boring things, but I'll stay on the same topic for now.
I've seen even the most skeptical atheist admit that there's something inexplicable about love. There exists the possibility of an incredibly intimate connection between a man and a woman that goes beyond physical attraction. It's something that we can try to explain away with pheromones and psychology, but in my mind it's obviously spiritually rooted.
It is something that I don't understand, but that I'm glad God gave us. I'm thankful for that gift. I look forward to the excitement that comes with a new relationship. I'm also thankful for all the good stuff that marriage brings and the hard work it requires. A husband and wife can show one another the deepest kind of soul-nurturing love. If they love Christ, their love for one another can reflect the awesomeness of God's love.
I like the idea of being in a romantic relationship. I don't think I'm ready for it right now; there's a lot of things I want God to work on in me. Anyway, enough rambling. I will continue these thoughts later.
For now, here's a video that you'll enjoy. I choreographed and performed this piece several years ago. It's about young love.
In fact, I know that relationships are a good thing. I really love love. I enjoy the fact that God created love. He was the one who showed love first, before any human knew what it was. I'm thankful that he loved us more than any guy will ever love me. He loved me enough to die for me.
God created the concept of marriage. He created love; he invented sex. Have you ever felt your heart pounding because you're close to that special person? God created that. That's incredible! Do you ever think God is boring? Not if you remember that he created sex. That's not boring. There are a lot of other not-boring things, but I'll stay on the same topic for now.
I've seen even the most skeptical atheist admit that there's something inexplicable about love. There exists the possibility of an incredibly intimate connection between a man and a woman that goes beyond physical attraction. It's something that we can try to explain away with pheromones and psychology, but in my mind it's obviously spiritually rooted.
It is something that I don't understand, but that I'm glad God gave us. I'm thankful for that gift. I look forward to the excitement that comes with a new relationship. I'm also thankful for all the good stuff that marriage brings and the hard work it requires. A husband and wife can show one another the deepest kind of soul-nurturing love. If they love Christ, their love for one another can reflect the awesomeness of God's love.
I like the idea of being in a romantic relationship. I don't think I'm ready for it right now; there's a lot of things I want God to work on in me. Anyway, enough rambling. I will continue these thoughts later.
For now, here's a video that you'll enjoy. I choreographed and performed this piece several years ago. It's about young love.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Christianity paved the way for shame-free single living
I randomly stumbled upon Tim Keller's blog today. Check out this valid, thought-provoking, and hope-giving point:
"According to theologian Stanley Hauerwas of Duke University, Christianity was the very first religion or world-view that held up single adulthood as a viable way of life. Jesus himself and St. Paul were single. "One…clear difference between Christianity and Judaism [and all other traditional religions] is the former's entertainment of the idea of singleness as the paradigm way of life for its followers." (Stanley Hauerwas, A Community of Character p.174) Nearly all religions and cultures made an absolute value of the family and of the bearing of children. There was no honor without family honor, and there was no real lasting significance or "legacy" without leaving heirs. By contrast, the early church not only did not pressure women to marry but it institutionally supported poor widows so they were not forced to remarry as they were out in the culture at large.
Why? The Christian gospel and hope of the kingdom-future de-idolized marriage. "Singleness was legitimated, not because sex was questionable, but because the mission of the church is 'between the times' [the overlap of the ages]…We must remember that the 'sacrifice' made by singles was not [just in] 'giving up sex' but in giving up heirs. There could be no more radical act than that! This was a clear expression that one's future is not guaranteed by the family but by the [kingdom of God and the] church…" ( Hauerwas, p.190)...
... The gospel frees singles from the shame of being unmarried they find in conservative cultures. Their truest identity is in Christ and their assured future hope is the kingdom of God. Even bearing children, in the Christian view, is merely nurturing more lives for the family of God. That can be done in other ways than the biological. "
... The gospel frees singles from the shame of being unmarried they find in conservative cultures. Their truest identity is in Christ and their assured future hope is the kingdom of God. Even bearing children, in the Christian view, is merely nurturing more lives for the family of God. That can be done in other ways than the biological. "
Singleness in the first century was so counter-cultural. At that time, one's life was justified by his family. If a man had a wife and kids, that was success. If a woman was single, she was basically worthless. If she was not married and using her child-bearing abilities to their full potential, then what was the point of her life?
I loved reading that "the early church not only did not pressure women to marry but it institutionally supported poor widows so they were not forced to remarry as they were out in the culture at large."
Jesus totally redefined the value in human life. He gave an example for the early church singles to live by. Our value is not in our spouse, our family or our kids. If we never marry or never have kids, our value is not less than anyone else's. We are children of God, and we have a purpose that goes beyond family. Our purpose is to be in relationship with God above all.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Real stability
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand.
-chorus from the hymn "Solid Rock" written by Edward Mote (1797-1874)
As we sang this chorus in church today, my mind wandered. I began to think about the things that I've looked to for stability: my education and the hope of a great career, my parents, my money, my relationships.
I've been reminded recently that nothing in this life is really, truly stable. It's all sinking sand. Money, relationships, status, possessions... all of these things, even the ones we think will last forever, could be taken from us at any time.
I don't think it's wrong to want stability. But, it is wrong to seek security in these material and temporary things instead of in the living God. Not only is it wrong, it can be devastating for us if we gain a false sense of security apart from God and then suddenly lose what we thought was secure.
God is the only one who lives beyond (before and after) all of us and all that we see on the earth. He is the only one who remains when everything in our lives falls apart. And things will fall apart. Our world is like that.
Many times I've felt as if everything in my life was going wrong. In some of those situations, I thought that money would solve my problems. If I just had enough money then I wouldn't have to worry about paying my rent next month. My finances would be stable and that would make me feel secure. Other times, I thought that a guy in my life was what I needed. If I were married then I wouldn't feel alone or feel like I have no one to depend on. If I had a husband, even if the world around me were falling apart, I would have something constant to hold on to.
The only thing that really kept me going was the assurance that God was there. He was there through all of the trials I've faced. I was reminded that he cared, and I cried out to him for help. And he answered. There were moments, amidst chaos, that I was left with an inexplicable feeling of peace. And every single time he brought me through the struggle with my heart intact.
Just a reminder to all you single people out there. Don't hope for a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife that will fill that craving for security and stability. A spouse may provide a mirage of security, but a spouse doesn't last forever. People pass away from this world unexpectedly, and more commonly, and ultimately, people disappoint.
We will be better prepared for marriage if we set our minds on Christ first and foremost, asking him to satisfy us and be our stability, rather than hoping that our spouse will provide that sense of security. Jesus truly is the solid rock on which we can stand.
All other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand.
-chorus from the hymn "Solid Rock" written by Edward Mote (1797-1874)
As we sang this chorus in church today, my mind wandered. I began to think about the things that I've looked to for stability: my education and the hope of a great career, my parents, my money, my relationships.
I've been reminded recently that nothing in this life is really, truly stable. It's all sinking sand. Money, relationships, status, possessions... all of these things, even the ones we think will last forever, could be taken from us at any time.
I don't think it's wrong to want stability. But, it is wrong to seek security in these material and temporary things instead of in the living God. Not only is it wrong, it can be devastating for us if we gain a false sense of security apart from God and then suddenly lose what we thought was secure.
God is the only one who lives beyond (before and after) all of us and all that we see on the earth. He is the only one who remains when everything in our lives falls apart. And things will fall apart. Our world is like that.
Many times I've felt as if everything in my life was going wrong. In some of those situations, I thought that money would solve my problems. If I just had enough money then I wouldn't have to worry about paying my rent next month. My finances would be stable and that would make me feel secure. Other times, I thought that a guy in my life was what I needed. If I were married then I wouldn't feel alone or feel like I have no one to depend on. If I had a husband, even if the world around me were falling apart, I would have something constant to hold on to.
The only thing that really kept me going was the assurance that God was there. He was there through all of the trials I've faced. I was reminded that he cared, and I cried out to him for help. And he answered. There were moments, amidst chaos, that I was left with an inexplicable feeling of peace. And every single time he brought me through the struggle with my heart intact.
Just a reminder to all you single people out there. Don't hope for a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife that will fill that craving for security and stability. A spouse may provide a mirage of security, but a spouse doesn't last forever. People pass away from this world unexpectedly, and more commonly, and ultimately, people disappoint.
We will be better prepared for marriage if we set our minds on Christ first and foremost, asking him to satisfy us and be our stability, rather than hoping that our spouse will provide that sense of security. Jesus truly is the solid rock on which we can stand.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Singleness can make us more like Jesus
I've heard my married friends say that marriage is tough. It reveals to you your selfishness, your pride, your sin. I don't know exactly what marriage is like, but I can imagine that it would be hard to lay down personal desires to love and serve your spouse.
They've also said that being married is the best way to become more like Jesus. It forces you to confront your sin. You can't just ignore the fact that you're impatient, or that you struggle with lust, or that you have anger management issues. These things will negatively affect your spouse and your marriage if you continue to ignore them.
While I can see the point, I don't agree that marriage is the best way to be sanctified (read: become more like Jesus). And here's why:
I believe that singleness, just like marriage, can bring us closer to God. In fact, God can use any phase of life to transform us into a person who reflects more of his glory and his beauty.
I think the key is offering ourselves to him. Don't waste your singleness complaining about being single. Instead, offer the time and energy you have to him so he can use it for his glory.
What do you think? Is being married the best way to be conformed to the image of Christ?
They've also said that being married is the best way to become more like Jesus. It forces you to confront your sin. You can't just ignore the fact that you're impatient, or that you struggle with lust, or that you have anger management issues. These things will negatively affect your spouse and your marriage if you continue to ignore them.
While I can see the point, I don't agree that marriage is the best way to be sanctified (read: become more like Jesus). And here's why:
- Singleness forces us to trust God with the future. We can't rely on another person to help us make life decisions.
- Singleness gives us more time to spend with God. When a woman has a husband and kids, her energy is almost entirely focused on caring for her family. With more time to spend in God's word and in prayer, we should expect to see God change our hearts through that.
- Singleness may mean we're lonely at times; loneliness reveals to us our need for God. If we feel that there's no one who fulfills our needs for love and acceptance, we can look to God. He is the one who unconditionally, eternally loves those who trust in Christ.
There have been moments where I've felt incredibly lonely. In those moments, I thought that what I needed was a boyfriend. I believe that that's one nasty lie that all women have been fed. The truth is that we don't need men to fulfill us. We need our God. And yeah, I needed my God. On many occasions, I've seen God come through. When I come to him with a broken heart, he fills me with a renewed sense of his awesome love. The bible says that he comforts the downcast (2 Cor 7:6). I know that through those lonely periods of life we come to know God more intimately.
- Singleness can reveal our struggles with sin: seeking attention from members of the opposite sex, fantasizing, lust, etc. My prayer is that all single people would have find community, and within community would have a safe place to confess their sins and receive accountability from members of the same sex.
- Singleness teaches us about sacrifice. While we're single we will have to deny our desires for sex, intimacy and physical affection. Jesus prepared us for this; he said that following him would surely involve sacrifice (Matthew 16:24-25). When we deny ourselves and persevere through hardship, our faith grows.
(Side note: We are not giving up love! God freely offers his love. Also, he has given us other people through whom we can experience love.)
I believe that singleness, just like marriage, can bring us closer to God. In fact, God can use any phase of life to transform us into a person who reflects more of his glory and his beauty.
I think the key is offering ourselves to him. Don't waste your singleness complaining about being single. Instead, offer the time and energy you have to him so he can use it for his glory.
What do you think? Is being married the best way to be conformed to the image of Christ?
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Foolish forgetfulness
Some days, somehow, I convince myself that God has forgotten about me. In the back of my mind I'm asking, "Why are my friends getting into relationships, getting married and having kids, and I haven't even started on that path?"
I think that's a pretty foolish way of thinking. How often do we convince ourselves that either God has forgotten to bring us a significant other, or else he doesn't care enough to do so? The other issue that may pop up is that we think he's not actually in control, and isn't able to bring that person into our lives.
Lately I've been reminded that God is powerful. It seems simple and obvious, but it's a good reminder. God is so powerful that he created the earth and heaven and everything in them. And, the creator of the entire universe is powerful enough to bring me a spouse.
Isaiah 45:18 says:
18 For this is what the LORD says—
he who created the heavens,
he is God;
he who fashioned and made the earth,
he founded it;
he did not create it to be empty,
but formed it to be inhabited—
he says:
“I am the LORD,
and there is no other...
So, he has the ability, but does he care?
Scripture shows us countless examples of God's great love for his people. I think we need to constantly remind ourselves that he loved us so much that he gave his life for us! Jesus was tortured for us, while there was nothing in it for him (while we were still sinners); do we think he doesn't care enough about our desires?
Matthew 7:11 portrays God as a generous, loving father who wants to give his kids (us!) good gifts:
11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
He does care about what we want and need.
I love the following passage; it talks about God knowing us before we were born. The whole Psalm is good, but here's a snippet.
Psalm 139
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
If he knows us that well, then he knows what is best for us. He is perfect, his memory is perfect, and he doesn't forget what we need. In fact, he knows what we need better than we do.
He loves us, and we need to trust that not only does he have the power to bring that special someone into our lives, but he cares. He's waiting for us to trust him with the outcome, whether it's singleness or marriage.
I think that's a pretty foolish way of thinking. How often do we convince ourselves that either God has forgotten to bring us a significant other, or else he doesn't care enough to do so? The other issue that may pop up is that we think he's not actually in control, and isn't able to bring that person into our lives.
Lately I've been reminded that God is powerful. It seems simple and obvious, but it's a good reminder. God is so powerful that he created the earth and heaven and everything in them. And, the creator of the entire universe is powerful enough to bring me a spouse.
Isaiah 45:18 says:
18 For this is what the LORD says—
he who created the heavens,
he is God;
he who fashioned and made the earth,
he founded it;
he did not create it to be empty,
but formed it to be inhabited—
he says:
“I am the LORD,
and there is no other...
So, he has the ability, but does he care?
Scripture shows us countless examples of God's great love for his people. I think we need to constantly remind ourselves that he loved us so much that he gave his life for us! Jesus was tortured for us, while there was nothing in it for him (while we were still sinners); do we think he doesn't care enough about our desires?
Matthew 7:11 portrays God as a generous, loving father who wants to give his kids (us!) good gifts:
11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
He does care about what we want and need.
I love the following passage; it talks about God knowing us before we were born. The whole Psalm is good, but here's a snippet.
Psalm 139
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
If he knows us that well, then he knows what is best for us. He is perfect, his memory is perfect, and he doesn't forget what we need. In fact, he knows what we need better than we do.
He loves us, and we need to trust that not only does he have the power to bring that special someone into our lives, but he cares. He's waiting for us to trust him with the outcome, whether it's singleness or marriage.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Single and free to make my own decisions
I feel blessed to be single at this point in my life. As I’m finishing my undergrad this month, and moving on to a new stage of life, there are so many decisions to make. And, being single means there really are no limits to where I could go or what I could do.
At times I think I would like to have a special guy in my life. At least if I was in a serious relationship, I think that my decisions wouldn’t be so hard. I would choose to be wherever the guy was, and my options wouldn’t be so numerous. (I get overwhelmed when there are too many options. I would like someone to just make my decisions for me at this point.)
With these upcoming decisions and life changes, it would be nice to know that something is constant, something is stable. (I'm thankful to God that he is the only stable thing right now, and that I'm forced to look to him for my sense of security.)
At the same time, with a relationship, my options would be somewhat limited. If the guy wanted to move halfway across the world, would I stay here in Montreal? If he was a homebody, and wanted to remain near his family, would I move to another province or country for a job opportunity? Not likely.
At this point, I have no relationship. I am free to move, to travel, to work and to spend my money and my time however I would like to.
The single life is truly a blessing.
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