Work and exhaustion

Wow... the past month has just flown by. I just finished the 4th week at my new job in technical writing. So far so good.

However, since I started at my job I have been absolutely exhausted. I have been so exhausted that I nearly fell asleep in a conversation at work, and I have fallen asleep several times on the metro. A few times I've been so tired that my stomach was churning and I felt nauseous. I'm getting used to the schedule (which involves waking up around 5:30am, and not returning home until 6pm), but my body doesn't adjust like it used to. I feel older. I can't go several days in a row with just 6 hours of sleep. My mind ceases to function normally.

With the new job I don't have as much free time, so I have missed out on some of the things I really enjoy: spending copious amounts of time with people, blogging, listening to sermons, baking, cooking, watching movies.

Here’s a brief summary of my month, by the numbers:
Read 30+ chapters of documentation at work.
RSVPed for 3 weddings, all happening in the next month.
Met and memorized the names of 20 new people.
Hosted 2 travelling friends.
Visited my mom for just under 3 days (68 hours).
Had one delicious steak dinner.
Spent a combined 45 hours in daily commute.
Had 9 encouraging or challenging conversations about spirituality and religion.

I'm praying for energy, and that God will give me love and compassion for those around me. Work is hard, but fun, and I'm really enjoying meeting all the new people.

Memorizing Scripture

Last week at my church small group we were discussing how to rely on God when things are difficult.  We agreed that it is so hard to trust God when we face trials in life.  It's hard not to worry, fear, or take the situation completely into our own hands.  When we face trials, we usually get anxious instead of saying, "Ok God, I don't understand this situation and I don't know what to do, but I look to you." 

Side note: I love what king Jehoshaphat said in 2 Chronicles 20:12:
"...For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."

Some of the women in the group said that reciting scripture helps them, especially when they are afraid. There are some great verses, like in Psalm 23:
"I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me."

This one women, who is in her late 70s, is a great woman of God.  She knows many of the stories in the bible by heart.  As we were sharing she said, "I wish I had memorized more scripture when I was younger. Now it's not so easy. My memory isn't as good as it used to be." 

That just hit me.  She has memorized bus loads of verses, and yet she regrets not memorizing more of the bible.  How often do I take my memory for granted?  I think it's normal that I am able to memorize bible verses, engineering formulas, telephone numbers even.  We never know when we could lose something like our memory. 

We memorize song lyrics, addresses, websites, sports stats... but how often do we really use this great gift of memory to remember something truly important? that will aid us for our entire lives? that will remind us of God's goodness, faithfulness, and his awesome plans for us?

It's great to be young and to be able to memorize things easily.  I think I'm going to put my memory to good use while I have it.

Love: we talk about it, we write songs about it, we even dance.

I didn't start this blog to bash relationships or promote singleness as superior to marriage. 

In fact, I know that relationships are a good thing.  I really love love.  I enjoy the fact that God created love.  He was the one who showed love first, before any human knew what it was. I'm thankful that he loved us more than any guy will ever love me.  He loved me enough to die for me.

God created the concept of marriage.  He created love; he invented sex.  Have you ever felt your heart pounding because you're close to that special person?  God created that.  That's incredible!  Do you ever think God is boring?  Not if you remember that he created sex. That's not boring. There are a lot of other not-boring things, but I'll stay on the same topic for now.

I've seen even the most skeptical atheist admit that there's something inexplicable about love.  There exists the possibility of an incredibly intimate connection between a man and a woman that goes beyond physical attraction.  It's something that we can try to explain away with pheromones and psychology, but in my mind it's obviously spiritually rooted.

It is something that I don't understand, but that I'm glad God gave us.  I'm thankful for that gift.  I look forward to the excitement that comes with a new relationship.  I'm also thankful for all the good stuff that marriage brings and the hard work it requires.  A husband and wife can show one another the deepest kind of soul-nurturing love.  If they love Christ, their love for one another can reflect the awesomeness of God's love.

I like the idea of being in a romantic relationship.  I don't think I'm ready for it right now; there's a lot of things I want God to work on in me.  Anyway, enough rambling. I will continue these thoughts later.

For now, here's a video that you'll enjoy.  I choreographed and performed this piece several years ago.  It's about young love.