My portion for this season

(a break from the series)

The past few months have had me meditating on God’s purpose for my life. I began my "career" last June, but I don’t feel a clear leading in terms of what I should be doing with my life.

My life direction is closely tied with my relationship status. I suppose if I was married, I would be thinking about things like family planning, which would influence my career plans.

I keep thinking, "If only I was married, then I wouldn’t have to make a career plan. I’d work for a year or two, then start a family. That would make these job decisions so much easier."

I was meditating on this quote from pastor Tim Keller, and I realized that yes- God does want me to be single at this point in my life. This is his portion for me. This is his best purpose and plan for me. If it is better for me to be in a relationship or to be married, then he will bring that about. If it is better for me to be single, then that is where I will remain.

It’s hard to come to terms with that. I mean, if it is better for me to be single for the rest of my life, am I ok with that? I don’t know. It’s hard to imagine being single for another 50, 60 years. But being single for this season – sure. In fact, I can say without a doubt - Yes, I am content with that.

One thing that has affected my contentment in this season is that I’ve seen what God can accomplish through me. I’ve been praying that he would use me; that my life would be an instrument of righteousness (Romans 6:13), a tool for him to use for his glory.

And in praying that, my singleness has become more precious to me.

In the past few months, I’ve seen prayers answered at work. I’ve had incredible spiritual conversations with my colleagues, women and men. I’ve gathered a small group of Christians at my workplace, and I am hoping to see them also sharing the Gospel with their coworkers, with a sense of urgency, empowered by the Holy Spirit.

I know that I am a more effective witness for Christ as a single person. Here are a few specific things that are easier for me as a single person:

• I can walk alongside women who are struggling with being content in singleness.
• I am spending most of my free time ministering to believing and non-believing friends, including guys (although with guys I am more cautious!).
• Several of the guys at work that I have been able to share the Gospel with were initially interested in me… you know, interested. Because I am one of the few single women on my floor, I have had opportunities to meet and share with people that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.
• I can very freely (and sometimes spontaneously) plan time with coworkers outside of work.
• I can visit family and not have worry about being away from my significant other for too long.

My prayer for you all is that you’d ask (and be willing, by the power of his Holy Spirit) for God to use you: your time, your relationships, your resources, and your singleness for his glory. Then as he uses you, watch as you start to see your singleness in a new light, with a new sweetness.

Awkward date #2: Falling in love... or falling asleep?

This post is part of a series documenting some seriously awkward dates that I've been on.

Please note that I am not writing this series to mock the guys whom I have dated. These stories are bound to be funny, but I hope you’ll look with me at how God worked through these situations to grow me and teach me about relationships. My prayer is that these nuggets of wisdom wouldn’t go to waste. :)

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He was a really sweet guy: funny, super intelligent, respectful and kind. His family, who are awesome, generous, Christian people, lived down the street. I had played with this guy and his two older siblings as a kid. We didn't stay friends as we grew older, as we attended different schools.

Several years ago, we ran into each other in a restaurant, and he asked me out. We went for coffee and had a great time catching up. I remember laughing a lot. I was excited to hear that he'd kept his faith in Jesus. I think he was probably shocked that I was also a Christian, since I didn't grow up in a Christian home.

I really enjoyed our coffee together. A week later we went to a movie. I think it was Shrek 2, or Shrek 3. You see, I can't really remember because I fell asleep and missed the last half of the movie! I think he tried to nudge me awake a few times, but gave up. He teased me about it afterwards, which made me super embarrassed.

To give a bit of context:
I don't know why, but when I'm sitting still and I'm comfortable, I have a tendency to fall asleep. And really quickly too. I've fallen asleep in work meetings, during quiet conversations, in university classes, during extremely loud concerts (and quiet classical concerts, too), on buses, on trains, on a plane during taking off (I also slept through the landing of that one).

(In case you're worried about me, I've never fallen asleep standing up, or in a situation that would prove dangerous if that happened. And I sleep very well at night.)
Ok, enough about my random sleep issues...

So picture me, falling asleep on a date, in a movie theatre. It was awkward.

We didn't end up dating seriously because of other factors... at least I don't think that was the reason. :P Since then we've remained friends.

What I learned from this awkward date:
1/I need to learn to laugh at myself.

2/Quality godly guys are out there (particularly ones who will respect a girl's physical boundaries **see my post for awkward date #1!). Girls: We need to keep our standards high, no matter how desperate we feel!

3/I embarrassed myself, and the guy didn't run away. I could see that this guy liked me for who I was. :)