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Friday, February 11, 2011

Singleness - a Curse?

Is singleness a curse? What would you say?

Our society says so. We are bombarded by images and media that say "You want a relationship."
"You will be satisfied when you have a guy who shows you affection."
"You NEED a guy."

Our Christian community says so.  We would never speak those words out loud, but I believe it resides deep in our minds.  I've gotten the awkward look that says: "So wait, you're 24 and still single?! What's up with that?"  It is as if to say there's something seriously wrong with me because I don't have a date.

And we say it to ourselves. I know I've been deceived by those voices in my head that say my life is worthless or, at the very least, I'm missing something because I'm not in a romantic relationship.

I think God would tell us otherwise.

He says that he loved us before we even had our first thought about him.  He came down to interact with humanity, as a human himself, and died a brutal death.  He would not have died if he didn't love us.
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:9)

I've learned that wherever I am and whatever relational situation I am in, his love does not fail.  He loves me so much that he allowed me to be single throughout my university career. 

Sometimes I doubt that this was his perfect plan for me. Where did I mess up that this situation of being single for the past 5 years was forced on me?! When is my time, God? While my friends are getting into relationships, getting married and having kids, what about me? Did you forget about me?  (These are some ideas that I think I'll deal with in later posts.)

Those are the honest thoughts of a typical single woman... but they are also the thoughts of a woman who has momentarily taken her eyes off Christ, and the absolutely marvelous gift that he gave us in being executed on the cross.

He said "I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." (Jeremiah 31:3)

When we come to dwell in his love for us, we (slowly) realize that he has our best interests in mind, in every situation (Rom 8:28).