tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63586133879152537162024-02-02T04:49:14.541-05:00Blessed to be Singlelindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-70592972281856257962012-05-16T12:59:00.000-04:002012-05-16T12:59:41.550-04:00Update (part 2)So a while ago, I was filling you all in on that big decision that I had to make<br />
<br />
Whether to
continue looking for jobs in engineering, or take a year "off" and work full-time with Power to Change - Students.<br />
<br />
After praying about this decision, I felt released to continue working in my field. For the past few years, I've been passionate about electrical engineering, specifically the area of FPGA design. It has been exciting waiting to see where God would lead me. <br />
<br />
I've been working for the last 10 months as a technical writer. I write how-to manuals for smart cameras and frame grabber boards. The products are interesting. I love the people I work with. I wanted to do something more technical, more engineering, though.<br />
<br />
So I interviewed for a position in FPGA hardware testing and validation. It sounded awesome. I'd be working with some people that I already know (and like). I'd be working on a mostly francophone team (yikes!) in the same company that I've been at for the past 10 months. The company where I've developed a real ministry amongst my coworkers. This is the place where I've seen God move in people's lives. I didn't want that to end. But at the same time I wanted a job change.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, the interview for the hardware job didn't go well. I was <b>so</b> excited about it... and then it was such a let down. I did poorly on the written test, and didn't feel that I answered the behavioural questions well. <br />
<br />
I just found out two days ago that I didn't get the job. It took them forever to make a decision, but finally they hired someone else.<br />
<br />
After all that waiting, I'm not feeling <b>that</b> disappointed (thanks God). I mean, after a bad interview, and then a month and a half of waiting, I didn't get my hopes up. I wasn't really expecting to get the job at this point. But I'm still a little sad.<br />
<br />
And after all that waiting, while I was waiting to hear back about the job, I didn't feel that God was calling me to campus ministry (with Power to Change - Students). I withdrew my application with P2C. I was sad, but I'm not regretting that decision.<br />
<br />
So now I'm still kind of in limbo. My boss extended my technical writing contract for 4 months (yay!). So, for these next few months I'll be seeking God, asking him to direct my steps, and asking him to provide a challenging, fun job where I can (again) share Christ with my coworkers.lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-77874269751669062132012-04-11T13:25:00.000-04:002012-05-16T12:59:59.363-04:00Update (part 1)<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Clshangra%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C08%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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</style>I'm back. I haven't gone far, but I've felt some days as if life was running away from me. My stress at times has been overwhelming. I’ve experienced God's faithfulness during these weeks.<br />
<br />
God is good. God is faithful. God will provide.<br />
<br />
A month ago I was making a decision. That decision was whether to continue looking for jobs in engineering, or take a year "off" and join a great ministry called Power to Change. They work with University students to help students discover Jesus.<br />
<br />
I prayed, wrote pros and cons lists, talked with godly people whom I trust, and came to the conclusion that I would take a year to do full-time ministry.<br />
<br />
This meant surrendering my goals in engineering for the time being. Taking a year "off" meant that I'd be one year out of my field, meant one year separated from my degree, from my knowledge, and from technology, which is always advancing (and is hard to keep up with in any case).<br />
<br />
I began filling out the Power to Change application and contacting references. A few days after that decision, I heard of a position at my company, in another department. An engineering job. Like a real engineering job.<br />
<br />
The position is p.e.r.f.e.c.t.<br />
<br />
It's another contract, this time for one year. I would be filling in for a woman going on maternity leave. The job is an entry-level position in FPGA design and testing (my favourite!). I already know some of the people who work in this department, and on this project. Great people. <br />
<br />
I'm already familiar with the company, with the work, and with several of the products. So it seemed like the most amazing opportunity. <br />
<br />
One of the senior engineers said that he and two other engineers would interview me. I had a few days to prep for the interview. <br />
<br />
All I could do was praise God. What an incredible opportunity. It seemed that everything was falling into place for my goals (which I never really thought was possible).<br />
<br />
I was getting pumped. I would even be able to continue building relationships, the relationships that I've developed over the past 9 months. I love the people I work with, and I'd still see them everyday. Plus, I'd be challenged in this new position, on a new project, and I'd be meeting some new people. <br />
<br />
Oh wait – but what happened to my decision to do ministry?? I knew I had to pray. <br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, do you want me to surrender this amazing opportunity? I will give it up, if it's what you want. <br />
This job sounds perfect. Amazing. Challenging, but fresh and new and exciting. <br />
Do you want me to pursue ministry, still? Do you want me to give it up, to serve you, to honour this decision I’ve made?</blockquote>
<br />
I asked with hesitation, waiting to hear that he was going to cut my excitement right then and there. Hesitation, but willingness. <br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Your will is best. Your plan is the best plan. I will follow your plan, even if it’s hard. Even if it’s not what I want right now.</blockquote>
<br />
But I didn’t hear anything. Not a word.<br />
<br />
As I continued to pray, I felt his peace wash over me. I asked if I should take the job, if it were to be offered to me. And all I felt was his peace. I felt released to be able to pursue the avenue that I'd so hoped (for years) would be available to me.<br />
<br />
But that's not the end of this story. I'll fill in the rest later!lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-88401169076075172972012-04-05T22:03:00.001-04:002012-04-05T22:03:09.092-04:00A confessionToday I told God that <strong>I'd be ok if his plan for me was to be single for the rest of my life</strong>. <br />
<br />
I love serving him, and I can see the many benefits of serving God in singleness.<br />
<br />
That feeling lasted all of about 6 hours... until a cute boy started paying attention to me.<br />
<br />
Oh why is my heart so flawed, so flaky, so easily distracted? Why do I crave boy-attention so much?lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-68911229341856323102012-03-07T13:04:00.001-05:002012-03-07T13:04:24.654-05:00Decisions, decisions, decisions.Decision-making is hard!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaA68A60VP74l-n3VgIpJsqxSEeEYzGOJCNtY9p86eI53ra9xGHBLX7uiWAeb4MrA5eReFJNleW6p-49yZYlPwpXqU4vymB-TPsaBMPeDcAbAs2tpf5pawLdGKw9_oaDfVS7KIb7PLlVVl/s1600/decision-making.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaA68A60VP74l-n3VgIpJsqxSEeEYzGOJCNtY9p86eI53ra9xGHBLX7uiWAeb4MrA5eReFJNleW6p-49yZYlPwpXqU4vymB-TPsaBMPeDcAbAs2tpf5pawLdGKw9_oaDfVS7KIb7PLlVVl/s1600/decision-making.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
I've never liked making decisions, especially not the big ones, the ones that affect other things or other people. Over the past few days, I've been wrestling with a major decision. I have to make the decision soon, ideally this week.<br />
<br />
This decision will affect the next year, and could possibly change the trajectory of my life.<br />
<br />
Thankfully, I've got God to help me. <br />
Hold tight - I'll let you all know how it goes!lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-60265983257328071952012-03-02T15:27:00.000-05:002012-04-12T16:11:06.440-04:00Oh hello, Anxiety! Where did you come from?!Today it hit me that I have 7 weeks left at my job. Seven weeks! Seven weeks to finish my project. Seven weeks to apply for, interview at, and get another job. Seven weeks to say goodbye to coworkers. Seven weeks to go all out for God here at work. <br /><br />
I was praying that I would see two people come to know God in a personal way. I was praying to see lives changed, to see God do great things. There are only seven weeks left for that to happen.<br /><br />
I thought I had been trusting God with my future. I mean, when I thought about the future I didn’t get anxious. I’m not sure why I feel this way now. <br /><br />
Anxiety, why did you show up all of a sudden? You're not wanted here.<br /><br />
Maybe it’s because another month (February) has gone by and I haven’t started applying for jobs. I have ideas; I have a CV; I even have some good connections. But no job applications have been started. Yikes.<br /><br />
Maybe it’s because sometimes I look at my list of skills and my education and think, <br /><br />
"I can mention that I have experience in FPGA design and testing… but it’s not real experience. Is it valid experience if it’s only in a classroom, not in the real-world?"<br /><br />
"Are there really companies who want a recent university grad with no experience in this particular field?"<br /><br />
"Am I going to run into problems because I’m not fluent in French?"<br />I know I need to bring this to God. I need to sit still, rest in his presence and say, "My future is in your hands, God. Your word says that you love me and you have good plans for my life. Help me to trust you with my future."<br />
<br />Future planning will probably always make me anxious. *Sigh*<br /><br />
So, friends, right now I could use your prayers. I’ve gotten a lot of good career planning/job hunting advice recently. That is useful, too, but right now it’s not really what I need. lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-33518249172342433042012-02-21T16:58:00.001-05:002012-02-21T16:58:47.714-05:00The selfishness rut<blockquote class="tr_bq">
How many of us ignore our sin?<br />
Minimize our sin?<br />
Rationalize our sin?<br />
Repeat our sins over and over again?<br />
Hide our sin?</blockquote>
From <a href="http://www.callmeblessed.com/2012/02/we-encourage-recognizing-sin.html" target="_blank">this post</a> over on <a href="http://www.callmeblessed.com/" target="_blank">CallMeBlessed.</a><br />
<br />
I do all of the above. It's so easy to rationalize sin and think, "I'm ok, I'm doing pretty good compared to a lot of people in the world."<br />
<br />
It's especially easy because our society has caused us to value:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>individualism/independence (I need to fulfill my desires first).</li>
<li>ambition (I'm going to pursue this direction in life because it will make me rich/successful/important/loved).</li>
<li>self-sufficiency (I don't need anyone else).</li>
</ul>
<br />
I've been guilty of such selfishness. I'm not sure if this occurs more often because I am single, but sometimes I get into a <b>selfishness rut</b>. I want what I want, and I work each day to get it. I want to be comfortable; I want people to love me and think well of me; I want to spend my resources (time/money/material things) on myself only.<br />
<br />
This is sin: striving for these things without thought of what God wants me to do.<br />
<br />
I'm committing to regularly pray that God would reveal my sin to me. That is the only way to grow, to gain victory over sin. I need to recognize it when it happens, or halt the thought before it becomes sin, confess it, and move on. God says that when we confess and repent, he will completely forgive us and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>God, show me my sin.</i><br />
<br />
<i>I know I'm selfish, and I often do things solely for my own good. Help me to surrender the things that I want, the things that I put first in my life. Help me to put you first, and to have the strength to do your will.</i>lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-62852930602767807652012-02-09T12:45:00.002-05:002012-02-09T12:46:56.271-05:00Great musicThere's a lot of great music out there. Personally, I love a song with acoustic guitars, good rhythm, and interesting lyrics (lyrics are key for me).<br />
<br />
I listen to both mainstream "secular" and Christian artists, but I prefer to listen to Christian music.<br />
<br />
Why?<br />
<br />
Well, for one, the lyrics in songs by Christian artists are full of hope. I like listening to songs that make me say, "God's got this one. He's in control. My situation isn't as bad as I think it is. I might be sad, but God is helping me persevere through this trial."<br />
<br />
I love music by Lifehouse. Sure, they are mainstream, but as far as I know, they are followers of Jesus. Their music often expresses sadness, loss, but in the midst of that they speak of God's power to heal.<br />
<br />
This song, Broken, is a great one.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I'm falling apart,<br />
I'm barely breathing.<br />
With a broken heart,<br />
That's still beating.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
</div>
In the pain<br />
There is healing<br />
In your name, <br />
I find meaning.</blockquote>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/I6cdPeYJh0s?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
One secular artist that I listen to is "City and Colour", a brilliant song writer by the name of Dallas Green. (He's Canadian, which is awesome. Yay for supporting Canadian music!)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/BU82rXsNNg0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
His song "Hope for Now", despite its title, shows a real lack of hope. <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
But what it would take to live<br />
As if I would not another day<br />
To live without despair<br />
And to be without desdain<br />
<br />
How can I instill such hope<br />
But be left with none of my own?</blockquote>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
(http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/city_and_colour/hope_for_now.html)</div>
<br />
His lyrics often speak of emptiness, loneliness, hopelessness, pain... and he remarks on the fact that nothing can fix his pain.<br />
<br />
I love listening to music that I can identify with. I can identify with feeling lonely, lost, in pain, etc. But I don't want to dwell in that self-piteous place forever. I want to give my feelings to God, and know that there is hope no matter what my situation.<br />
<br />
So although I love the music, the raw emotion, Dallas Green's voice, there's just something missing, and I think it's hope.<br />
<br />
What kind of music do you like? Have you found any "secular" artists whose lyrics are hopeful?lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-2088286079943033872012-01-25T13:35:00.001-05:002012-02-09T13:18:44.154-05:00My portion for this season<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Clshangra%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">(a break from the series)</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The past few months have had me meditating
on God’s purpose for my life. I began my "career" last June, but I don’t feel a
clear leading in terms of what I should be doing with my life. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My life direction is closely tied with my
relationship status. I suppose if I was married, I would be thinking about
things like family planning, which would influence my career plans.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I keep thinking, "If only I was married,
then I wouldn’t have to make a career plan. I’d work for a year or two, then
start a family. That would make these job decisions so much easier."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-size: small;">I was meditating on <a href="http://blessedtobesingle.blogspot.com/2011/10/if-youre-single-now.html" target="_blank">this quote from pastor Tim Keller</a>, and I
realized that yes- God does want me to be single at this point in my life. This
is his portion for me. This is his best purpose and plan for me. If it is
better for me to be in a relationship or to be married, then he will bring that
about. If it is better for me to be single, then that is where I will remain.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">It’s hard to come to terms with that. I mean, if it is
better for me to be single for the rest of my life, am I ok with that? I don’t
know. It’s hard to imagine being single for another 50, 60 years. But being
single for this season – sure. In fact, I can say without a doubt - <u>Yes, I am
content with that.</u></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">One thing that has affected my contentment in this season is
that I’ve seen what God can accomplish through me. I’ve been praying that he
would use me; that my life would be an instrument of righteousness (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%206:13&version=NIV" target="_blank">Romans 6:13</a>), a tool for
him to use for his glory.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And in praying that, my singleness has
become more precious to me.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In the past few months, I’ve seen prayers
answered at work. I’ve had incredible spiritual conversations with my
colleagues, women <u>and</u> men. I’ve gathered a small group of Christians at
my workplace, and I am hoping to see them also sharing the Gospel with their
coworkers, with a sense of urgency, empowered by the Holy Spirit.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that I am a more effective witness
for Christ as a single person. Here are a few specific things that are easier
for me as a single person:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<ul>
<li>I can walk alongside women who are struggling with being content in
singleness.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">I am spending most of my free time
ministering to believing and non-believing friends, including guys (although
with guys I am more cautious!).<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Several of the guys at work that I have
been able to share the Gospel with were initially interested in me… you know,
interested. Because I am one of the few single women on my floor, I have had
opportunities to meet and share with people that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">I can very freely (and sometimes
spontaneously) plan time with coworkers outside of work.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">I can visit family and not have worry
about being away from my significant other for too long.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My prayer for you all is that you’d ask
(and be willing, by the power of his Holy Spirit) for God to use you: your
time, your relationships, your resources, and your singleness for his glory.
Then as he uses you, watch as you start to see your singleness in a new light, with
a new sweetness.<o:p></o:p></span><br />lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-5252499938325615352012-01-03T13:03:00.000-05:002012-01-03T13:45:45.360-05:00Awkward date #2: Falling in love... or falling asleep?<blockquote>
<i>This post is part of a series documenting some seriously awkward dates that I've been on.<br />
<br />
Please note that I am not writing this series to mock the guys whom I
have dated. These stories are bound to be funny, but I hope you’ll look
with me at how God worked through these situations to grow me and teach
me about relationships. My prayer is that these nuggets of wisdom
wouldn’t go to waste. :)</i></blockquote>
<br />
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
He was a really sweet guy: funny, super intelligent, respectful and kind. His family, who are awesome, generous, Christian people, lived down the street. I had played with this guy and his two older siblings as a kid. We didn't stay friends as we grew older, as we attended different schools.<br />
<br />
Several years ago, we ran into each other in a restaurant, and he asked me out. We went for coffee and had a great time catching up. I remember laughing a lot. I was excited to hear that he'd kept his faith in Jesus. I think he was probably shocked that I was also a Christian, since I didn't grow up in a Christian home.<br />
<br />
I really enjoyed our coffee together. A week later we went to a movie. I think it was Shrek 2, or Shrek 3. You see, I
can't really remember because I fell asleep and missed the last half of
the movie! I think he tried to nudge me awake a few times, but gave up. He teased me about it afterwards, which made me super embarrassed.<br />
<br />
To give a bit of context:<br />
I don't know why, but when I'm sitting still and I'm comfortable, I have a tendency to fall asleep. And really quickly too. I've fallen asleep in work meetings, during quiet conversations, in university classes, during extremely loud concerts (and quiet classical concerts, too), on buses, on trains, on a plane during taking off (I also slept through the landing of that one).<br />
<br />
(In case you're worried about me, I've never fallen asleep standing up, or in a situation that would prove dangerous if that happened. And I sleep very well at night.)<br />
Ok, enough about my random sleep issues...<br />
<br />
So picture me, falling asleep on a date, in a movie theatre. It was awkward.<br />
<br />
We didn't end up dating seriously because of other factors... at least I don't think that was the reason. :P Since then we've remained friends. <br />
<br />
<b>
What I learned from this awkward date:</b><br />
1/I need to learn to laugh at myself.<br />
<br />
2/Quality godly guys are out there (particularly ones who will respect a girl's physical boundaries **see my post for awkward date #1!). Girls: We need to keep our standards high, no matter how desperate we feel!<br />
<br />
3/I embarrassed myself, and the guy didn't run away. I could see that this guy liked me for who I was. :)lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-28001706882031842552011-12-23T13:37:00.000-05:002011-12-23T16:50:34.933-05:00Someone else's awkward dateThis girl's blog <a href="http://crusadingwithkatie.com/?p=3181">post</a> made me smile.<br />
<br />
The girl, Katie, was asked out by a 47-year-old guy from her church. She didn't know it was a date, and so she agreed to go for a friendly lunch with him.<br />
<br />
It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who has been "tricked" into going on a date with an older man. (That post is coming.)lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-3321987498716250492011-12-22T14:02:00.000-05:002011-12-22T14:02:41.430-05:00Awkward date #1: Physical boundaries<blockquote><i>This post is part of a series documenting some seriously awkward dates that I've been on.<br />
<br />
Please note that I am not writing this series to mock the guys whom I have dated. These stories are bound to be funny, but I hope you’ll look with me at how God worked through these situations to grow me and teach me about relationships. My prayer is that these nuggets of wisdom wouldn’t go to waste. :)</i></blockquote><br />
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
I had known the guy for about 3 years. We met at a Christian summer camp, where we both worked as counsellors. We weren't close friends, and in fact we had never hung out outside of camp until one particular year.<br />
<br />
That year marked the beginning of my university career. I found myself in a new city, in a new academic realm, with totally new friends. As I look back at the ups and downs of that season, I see that God held on to me. My faith in God grew, especially during first semester.<br />
<br />
Despite being separated by several provinces, this guy and I began to chat more and more frequently. He was the first Christian guy I had met that was both genuine in his faith and genuinely interested in me. <br />
<br />
When I returned to my hometown for Christmas that year, we made plans to hang out. <br />
<br />
We decided to see a movie over the holidays. When I arrived at the theatre, I was anxious. I remember thinking, "It's weird to be talking to him in person again... This isn't the same as our interactions at camp. He looks different. How long has it been? I haven't seen him in person since last year! <br />
It seems that we've really gotten to know each other over the past 4 months, and that's only been online. Do I really know this guy?"<br />
<br />
Everything was going well, but I just couldn't let myself relax. At one point during the movie, he shuffled in his seat, getting more comfortable. He lifted up the armrest between us, and beckoned me over to his side of our now double-seat. He was suggesting that we cuddle. <br />
<br />
I was confused: I liked him, but I wasn't ready to show any kind of physical affection. I was already uncomfortable, and I knew that if I "gave in", it would make things worse. But if I refused, he would surely be embarrassed. <br />
<br />
I shook my head "no". He persisted. He asked me to move just a bit closer. At this point I'm sure he observed me awkwardly clinging to the left side of my seat, the side furthest away from him.<br />
<br />
We sat in silence with very little interaction until the end of the film. We didn't talk about it. I didn't want to talk it. I was already suffering enough through the awkwardness. When my mom came to pick me up, I said a cold goodbye to him. There was no romantic moment, no hug, no "let's do this again".<br />
<br />
Days later, we chatted online about what had happened. He tried to persuade me that I needed to relax and be more physically affectionate, because that's a huge part of getting to know someone. <br />
<br />
(Unfortunately this relationship didn't move very far past that conversation. We had such different views on physical boundaries that I don't think it could have worked.)<br />
<br />
I know that physical affection can be good, but I am firmly convinced that that area of a relationship needs careful thought and prayer. Both people need to pray about physical boundaries. And this area needs to progress VERY slowly. <br />
<br />
Physical affection should not lead either person to sin in their heart, by causing them to lust after what they cannot have until marriage.<br />
<b><br />
What I learned from this awkward date:</b><br />
1/Christian guys aren’t perfect. All guys desire physical intimacy, and struggle with lust. <br />
I now have a great respect for godly men who are daily walking with the Lord: those men who deny their desires for physical closeness until the right time. This is more than just saving sex for marriage. This is about "<b>fleeing</b> from sexual immorality" (1 Cor 6:18). Bottom line: Don't dabble in something that is going to cause you to sin.<br />
<br />
2/It was better that I didn’t give in to what he wanted me to do. I wouldn't have enjoyed cuddling with him. (Although my response made the situation super awkward, it would have been worse.) By standing my ground, I was able to honour God in my heart. <br />
<br />
3/Emotional, physical and spiritual areas of a relationship have to grow together. You can't have a physical relationship without the other two components. It just doesn't work.lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-77308427606065346702011-12-15T10:08:00.001-05:002011-12-15T10:13:11.717-05:00Things I am thankful forHugs.<br />
<br />
Candy cane-flavoured coffee.<br />
<br />
A "Rock Star" Christmas party this Friday, an opportunity to meet new people.<br />
<br />
Quality time with my roommate.<br />
<br />
Teddy’s happy, playful spirit.<br />
<br />
Delicious gluten-free pasta (with the best pasta sauce of my life) at Cafe Maurizio.<br />
<br />
God’s word.<br />
- The reminder that God values us. (Matt 6:26) We are his incredibly valuable children, his people whom he loves.<br />
<br />
A weekend filled with love, heart-to-heart chats, good food, joy and lots of laughter.<br />
<br />
My church: <br />
- a place that challenges believers not to "get over the Gospel", not to lose our sense of joy and awe in knowing that we have peace with God.<br />
- a place where those who don’t know Jesus are invited to discover him.lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-74108179203441915782011-12-06T13:08:00.001-05:002011-12-06T13:12:12.804-05:00(Best) FriendsIt’s important to not be alone. God even said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." (Gen 2:18) <br />
<br />
I’m not saying that we all need to be paired up, each girl with a guy. I’m talking about the fact that it’s not good to be alone, to be lonely, to be without people, to be without friends. God created us to be in community. He didn't intend for us to spend our lives without friends.<br />
<br />
That explains why some of us dread being alone. There are days where I really can’t stand the feeling of being alone. In fact, I’m feeling pretty alone right now.<br />
<br />
<br />
A friend asked me once, “Lindsay, who’s your best friend?” I didn't have an answer for her. And my heart sank. I don’t have a best friend? What's wrong with me?<br />
<br />
It's not that I don't have friends. In fact, I am surrounded by plenty of lovely people. I am so thankful that I have these people in my life. However, I think that the friends I have aren't "close" enough. <br />
<br />
Maybe I don't have a best friend because I've spent little bits of time with a lot of different people, and not enough time with anyone in particular.<br />
<br />
A big part of developing deeper relationships is time. You need to get to know someone, see them in different situations. I've been trying to get to know some of the girls from church. In a few cases I've put in effort, tried to plan things and hang out with people, but they just aren't interested in making time for me. <br />
<br />
In several cases I haven't made the time for others. I fill my evenings and weekends with good activities, things that I enjoy: church, dance class, personal time, chores/laundry/cooking/errands, taking care of Teddy. After that, it seems that very little time is left for friends. Even when I have the time, I often excuse myself, saying that I'm too tired to hang out.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I don't know how to open up to them. I hate that my relationships are sometimes so surface level. I think I'm afraid to really let people in, for fear of them not liking me for who I really am.<br />
<br />
You can probably gather where I'm at from this post, but I'll say it anyway. I've been feeling a bit frustrated/discouraged in the area of friendships.lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-22836807218650857992011-11-28T13:02:00.000-05:002012-01-03T12:01:04.586-05:00Why do I write the way I do?I know that some of you wonder why I write so often about focusing on Jesus. Why don’t I write more about the day-to-day of being a single woman? I admit, I originally intended to write about the ups-and-downs of being single, but I’ve come to realize a few things.<br />
<br />
I realize that I can never be truly satisfied (in singleness, or in a relationship) until I am fully satisfied with Christ, alone. My heart needs to be fully surrendered to him.<br />
<br />
I struggle with this daily, to give my heart to Jesus, and to not replace him with something or someone else. So that’s why I write the way I do: to remind myself, and hopefully encourage you, to seek God and to find your satisfaction, your joy, the love that you crave, in Him.<br />
<br />
With that to say, I plan to write in the next few weeks on the following topics:<br />
1. Why I have decided not to date guys who don’t love Jesus.<br />
2. Dangerous dates.<br />
<a href="http://blessedtobesingle.blogspot.com/search/label/%27Awkward%20Dates%27%20series">3. One too many awkward situations</a>.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned…lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-67883322699694243612011-11-24T18:54:00.000-05:002011-11-24T18:54:53.870-05:00I've been meditating on this verse lately: <br />
<br />
Psalm 73:25-26<br />
Whom have I in heaven but you? <br />
And earth has nothing I desire besides you. <br />
My flesh and my heart may fail, <br />
but God is the strength of my heart <br />
and my portion forever.<br />
<br />
The writer was obviously consumed by God. He said that earth had nothing he desired... he wanted God above everything that the world had to offer. He recognized that God is beautiful and wonderful and <b>satisfying</b>. <br />
<br />
I want to be able to truly say, "Yes, God, there is nothing I desire besides you. I want you, and only you. I want to live your way, even if it means sacrificing things that I want."<br />
<br />
I believe that living God's way, although it is difficult, is well worth the struggles. It's just hard to convince my stubborn, live-in-the-present, easily-swayed-by-worldly-pleasures heart of that fact.lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-80533953160532817512011-11-10T10:05:00.000-05:002011-11-10T10:05:19.028-05:00Teddy's back.Thanks, friends, for your wishes and prayers. <br />
<br />
Teddy's surgery went well. Everything is normal - his blood test was perfect and he's able to urinate without pain. <br />
<br />
He was experiencing some general discomfort in the area of the incision, post surgery; I don’t think he slept at all the first night at home. It was rough for me, as well as him. Poor little guy - he was trying to sleep standing up. :(<br />
<br />
Now he’s doing well. The doc prescribed him some medication for the pain, he seems more comfortable, and he slept right through the night :).lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-65984159221441205562011-11-07T10:46:00.000-05:002011-11-07T10:46:28.939-05:00Surgery!I dropped my dog Teddy off at the vet's this morning. He's having bladder stone removal surgery. It's a bit worrying, although they say it's a pretty routine surgery.<br />
<br />
Here's praying that everything goes well. :) God is good, all the time.lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-77532185889952126742011-11-03T16:30:00.000-04:002011-11-03T16:32:36.183-04:00Unloved.There are days when I feel unloved. <br />
<br />
I thought those days were a thing of the past, that I was now so strong in my faith in Christ that I wouldn’t have those self-focused moments anymore: "Does anyone really love me the way I want to be loved?" "Why do I feel so alone?"<br />
<br />
I think there will always be hard days. I’ll still struggle with wanting to be loved, and forgetting to seek God for what I desire. <br />
<br />
Those days often occur when I’ve lost sight of the incredibly satisfying love God has for us. Those days leave me desperately longing for attention. Sometimes I catch myself striving solely to please others, to gain attention, approval and love. I lose it: my contentment, my peace, my sense of who I am in God. I "lost it" recently, when a guy – an attractive, funny, charming, and considerate guy – stepped into my life.<br />
<br />
Have you ever "lost it"? Maybe you have and you just didn’t notice. You find yourself no longer content with where you are and what you have, and you start to long for a boyfriend. Your heart feels empty and you think that <i>he</i> is the only one who can fix your emptiness. <br />
<br />
Maybe you won’t believe me when I say that I’ve been there. I have, more times than I’d like to admit.<br />
<br />
So there’s this guy. We met and he immediately began to pay extra attention to me. I told myself that he probably wasn’t good for me. He didn’t fulfill some of my major criteria for a boyfriend (i.e. he doesn't love Jesus). But he’s so funny, and sweet, and he likes me...<br />
<br />
I knew I was in too deep when he asked for my number, and I tried to justify giving it to him. "It’ll be a nice friendship... I could go for a coffee with him; that doesn’t say serious relationship." Every day I hoped to run into him and looked forward to chatting with him. <br />
<br />
I finally recognized that I was putting all my hope into what this guy thought of me. Oh it’s just lovely to converse with someone who appreciates me: who genuinely wants to communicate with me and spend time with me and know more about who I am and what makes me tick. I'm not saying that it's wrong to be friends with members of the opposite sex. <b>BUT</b> it’s not worth it if it’s stealing my heart and my attention from God. <br />
<br />
That's what I've learned from this. I didn't give him my number, and I don't plan to go on that coffee date. I know my heart, and that just wouldn't help me one bit.lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-71994397917051015662011-11-01T15:15:00.000-04:002011-11-01T15:15:23.617-04:00I need to be reminded...... that God would never do anything to harm me, physically, emotionally or spiritually. And He would not intend for me to date a guy who would pull me away from the most important relationship in my life: my relationship with Him. <br />
<br />
May I stand in the assurance that the only man for me is the one who also loves Jesus with his whole heart.lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-21627509356124029092011-10-31T14:49:00.000-04:002012-02-09T13:51:35.256-05:00If you're single now...<blockquote>
<i>If you’re single now and if you’re a Christian and if Romans 8:28 means anything, it means that today you can grow better as a single than you could if you were married. <b>Or God would have you married.</b> <br />
<br />
In other words, <br />
there are things that you’re learning now, <br />
there are ways in which you can grow right now, <br />
there are opportunities for service and ministry that are better for you, and for Him, and for everybody around you, as a single person.<br />
<br />
- Tim Keller</i> </blockquote>
(From Tim Keller's <a href="http://sermons.redeemer.com/store/index.cfm?fuseaction=product.display&Product_ID=18303">Sex, Singleness and Marriage</a> sermon series)lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-16428073808977893352011-10-19T11:22:00.000-04:002011-10-19T11:22:37.657-04:00Sentiments on the "sexy" hallowe'en costumeI totally agree with <a href="http://www.joythebaker.com/">Joy the Baker</a> on this one:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.joythebaker.com/blog/2011/10/dont-be-a-sexy-panda-for-halloween-and-8-other-festive-tips/">"This brings me to a very important point: the slutty bee/nurse/policewoman/fairy/cat/warrior/French maid/girl scout/bomb inspector/hipster/moose/panda bear/zombie/Strawberry Shortcake… is SO PLAYED (major lame). Ladies. We’re better than this. We don’t need to take everyday things and make them slutty. Why!? Why are we doing this!? Did you know that we have the ability and freedom to dress like hussies everyday of the year if we choose? Seriously... Why take the respected and regal bumble bee and turn that into a hot mess? WHY!?<br />
...Don’t be slutty. Slutty on Halloween is DUMB and predictable and DUMB!"</a><br />
<br />
Come to think of it, slutty on any day is dumb.lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-87412308449969012822011-10-17T15:11:00.000-04:002011-10-17T15:11:35.672-04:00The worst part of my job... is that I kill about 20 trees every day with the amount of printing and copying I do. <br />
<br />
I have to give a hard copy of my work to this engineer, and that engineer, then it needs to be edited and reprinted 534232222857 times, then printed and handed to this other woman for approval, then printed for my boss, who has to make 23294288 more edits.<br />
<br />
I like being environmentally friendly. I don't wanna kill anymore trees. :(<br />
<br />
I guess if that's the worst part, that's not all that bad. :)lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-37424736203482948932011-10-04T16:09:00.000-04:002011-10-04T16:09:54.294-04:00Dresses!I love casual dresses. I love how easy it is to slip on a dress in the morning, and I love the way dresses look and feel. They can be worn all year-round (albeit with caution in the frigid Canadian winters). They can be worn for work and/or play. Plus, I just love how feminine they are. <br />
I own a total of <b>one</b> casual dress that I wear on a daily basis. It looks like <a href="http://www.google.ca/imgres?q=navy+dress+polka+dot&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1280&bih=809&tbm=isch&tbnid=2kSv_F0_aKpBLM:&imgrefurl=http://www.styleceo.com/apparel-search/ns/21/polka-dot-dress/&docid=f5D2RYKkXOtWmM&w=250&h=250&ei=QWKLTrbmO-__sQKQ_rGdBA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=907&vpy=415&dur=1546&hovh=200&hovw=200&tx=91&ty=218&page=7&tbnh=139&tbnw=139&start=208&ndsp=35&ved=1t:429,r:33,s:208">this one</a>. Sadly, last month my washing machine ripped a small hole near the waist. *Sigh*. My favourite piece of clothing, my default work outfit, my cute little dress. Now it should be tossed, but I love it and can't let it go yet... I sewed up the one-inch hole and wear a belt that discreetly covers the area.<br />
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Ever since that little incident I've been looking for a replacement. Boy, is it hard to find cute, affordable and <b>modest</b> dresses and skirts! <br />
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Today, I am so excited to have stumbled on this <a href="http://www.shabbyapple.com/">gem of a website</a>. It's called Shabby Apple, and it seems to be a socially-conscious, all-sizes-friendly business. They carry some really cute dresses. The ones I've looked at so far have high necklines, and go to the knee. They are all quite beautiful. <br />
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I think a dress is a good investment. Any piece of clothing that can be worn in multiple seasons, is appropriate for work, and transcends fashion trends is a good investment. <br />
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Because of some <a href="http://blessedtobesingle.blogspot.com/2011/07/things-to-be-thankful-for.html">recent events</a>, money is tight. I'm thinking of saving a bit, and purchasing one of those dresses next month. Now to decide which one to spend my hard-earned cash on. :) I welcome any suggestions!lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-1124910478427141102011-09-27T14:14:00.000-04:002011-09-27T14:14:54.433-04:00Does it get any easier (to be single)?Last evening I had a lovely chat at Starbucks with my friend M. We both agreed on something about our singleness: that it seems to be getting easier. That’s not to say that we wouldn’t like to be married and have kids someday. I know I definitely do hope for those things. But, it’s not as difficult as it used to be, to be content with where I’m at now. <br />
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M and I are both finished school, working, serving in church, and staying busy, and we’ve found that at this phase/stage in our lives, it is <b><i>good</i></b> to be single. God is such a good provider, and I am confident that he will provide a spouse if it is the best thing for me. But for now, I am so grateful that it is getting easier to live the single life. (I know not everyone will have the same experience(s) that I have had, but I want to say that there is hope for all you young single ladies. :) )lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358613387915253716.post-21382573876275588052011-08-16T15:48:00.003-04:002011-08-16T15:48:02.250-04:00What is love?Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. -- C.S. Lewislindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02785439685666583871noreply@blogger.com0