What is love?

Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. -- C.S. Lewis

Your Love is Deep

I'll admit it. I’ve been having a hard time being content in singleness. Some days it's just more difficult than I expect it to be.

I’ve been to 2 weddings in the last two weeks, and have heard about so many more. Don’t get me wrong; I’m so happy for the newlywed couples. It’s a blessing to be friends with so many godly people who aspire to honour God with their lives and their marriages. It’s just that, despite my efforts to remain content, I’ve felt insecure.

As I try to refocus on Jesus, I’ve found these words coming to mind.

Your love is deep
Your love is high
Your love is long
Your love is wide

Deeper than my view of grace
Higher than this worldly place
Longer than this road I travel
Wider than the gap you filled

("Your Love Is Deep" song)

This song is based on Ephesians 3:17-19: "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

His love is exactly what I need right now. Although part of me wants to dive into a romantic relationship, I’ve been there before and I know that kind of relationship isn’t really what my heart is craving. It won’t completely satisfy. I need to be satisfied in Christ.

Practice for being a mom

With Teddy’s recent health issues, I’ve become particularly aware of how similar dog ownership is to baby ownership. :) Here are some of the reasons why:

1. I bathe him, feed him, cut and comb his hair, talk to him, teach (i.e. train) him, love him, and play with him. I make sure he gets everything that he needs. He’s completely dependent on me for these things.
2. Sometimes he keeps me up at night. On numerous occasions I have gotten up in the middle of the night to care for him: whether it was to get him water, take him outside, change his pee pad, or just tell him to go back to bed (he actually listens!).
3. When there’s something wrong, I just know. I can easily read his body language and behaviour, and can sense when he’s in pain, when he’s anxious, uncomfortable or scared.
4. I had never felt more fearful of losing something than when Teddy started peeing blood.
5. I was (and am) willing to expend all of my resources to figure out what the illness was: time, money, sleep, etc.
6. I cried when the vet said he needed to stay overnight at the clinic. It’s awful to not be able to care for your baby when he’s sick!

I’m thankful for this preparation for the future, for being a mom (hopefully). I know that caring for a baby takes much more work, and is waaaay more complex, but I like to think that caring for Teddy is good practice anyway.
I’m so thankful for this trial, as it has helped me to realize that Teddy is just another thing that I have failed to trust God with. May I learn to surrender all things, even my doggie, to the Lord.

Blog vacation

Just about every blog I read seems to be on summer vacation. (All of them, simultaneously!)

Hey bloggers: Get back to it! What else am I going to do on my breaks at work? :P