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Friday, March 2, 2012

Oh hello, Anxiety! Where did you come from?!

Today it hit me that I have 7 weeks left at my job. Seven weeks! Seven weeks to finish my project. Seven weeks to apply for, interview at, and get another job. Seven weeks to say goodbye to coworkers. Seven weeks to go all out for God here at work.

I was praying that I would see two people come to know God in a personal way. I was praying to see lives changed, to see God do great things. There are only seven weeks left for that to happen.

I thought I had been trusting God with my future. I mean, when I thought about the future I didn’t get anxious. I’m not sure why I feel this way now.

Anxiety, why did you show up all of a sudden? You're not wanted here.

Maybe it’s because another month (February) has gone by and I haven’t started applying for jobs. I have ideas; I have a CV; I even have some good connections. But no job applications have been started. Yikes.

Maybe it’s because sometimes I look at my list of skills and my education and think,

"I can mention that I have experience in FPGA design and testing… but it’s not real experience. Is it valid experience if it’s only in a classroom, not in the real-world?"

"Are there really companies who want a recent university grad with no experience in this particular field?"

"Am I going to run into problems because I’m not fluent in French?"
I know I need to bring this to God. I need to sit still, rest in his presence and say, "My future is in your hands, God. Your word says that you love me and you have good plans for my life. Help me to trust you with my future."

Future planning will probably always make me anxious. *Sigh*

So, friends, right now I could use your prayers. I’ve gotten a lot of good career planning/job hunting advice recently. That is useful, too, but right now it’s not really what I need. 

2 comments:

  1. Linds, I love that you set prayer goals for your work life. You're such an intentional woman, that's awesome!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Emily! It's been hard to believe God, but yeah, I try to set prayer goals; it really helps to increase my faith.

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